Hunting for Daddy's Girls
—Vanessa Y. Niu
Hunting for Daddy's Girls
Honey bane I think you’ve caught me, I’ll say
Girl, shut up and hope you say more, sit on my hands
to prevent myself from ripping the cross off your neck
while the sky pulses overhead, littered with Vegas stars
Daddy said the best way to handle a woman
was with your hands wrapped like rosary and now I
love best right after prayer. Desert rose I think you’ve
caught me in the dry air, you puma you jack rabbit
you ace you joker. Under the table you only say No,
not anymore when I laugh at some new ingénue who
comes in hoping for salvation. You’re not like that
anymore, you say, you’ve changed. And I should change,
too. You’re all crisp and solemn night air blowing sand
solitary and here. You’re all nun’s hips and echoing
footsteps. You no longer look at me when I say woman
unless I say it like one myself. My arms, now limp as
suburban roadkill. Daddy said the sweetest women are
the ones you leave, like miniature dust demons swiveling
under the heel of the rented range rover we crashed.
Was it there that you caught me? Gripped with
the dilemma of a car to fix? The only sound I could
make, laughter like a sputtering engine, scoff and plea
it isn’t broken, we didn’t need it, I proclaim it a
landmark of our love, that broken car, that golden ravine
a constellation, feeling landlocked, small, hungry for
something I couldn’t name. All that talk and so little
motion. How I wish I was autocompleting saying that
you didn’t kiss me that night, that I’ve still never been
kissed, that this tongue is just as rented as that rover.
Daddy said the best love was a hightailing one. Girl,
I’ve been on the run. The best love is the one where the
hunt never ends and the rabbit’s running forever.
About
VANESSA Y. NIU is a writer and classical singer who lives in New York City. She was a runner-up for the 2024 NYS Youth Poet Laureate, and her work has been recognized by the Kennedy Center, Teen Vogue, the Guggenheim, NYFW, Frontier Poetry, as well as set to music by Juilliard and Interlochen composers. Her poetry collections have been finalists in the Black Lawrence Press Immigrant Writing Series and Small Harbor Press Chapbook competition.